


140 characters or less

by htos



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-15 16:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11809440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/htos/pseuds/htos
Summary: Adonis didn’t seem disturbed by this in the slightest! Someone thought they were a couple! Kaoru couldn’t tell if it was his ever-calm demeanor, or… maybe he was actually… you know. Kaoru didn’t want to think about the word. The one that starts with G and ends with AY.





	1. This could have been handled better. I don't know how, but it could have.

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing dirty yet but there's definitely the phrase "I wonder how many times Kaoru-kun can take Adonis-kun before he gets sore" in the first chapter so I don't know. Is that teen rating? Mature? I only write smut I don't know what anything below explicit is used for. I don't know if this will get explicit. Do you want it to get explicit???? aaaaaa
> 
> Anyway. It's been a year since adokao/kaoado arabian au (which, hasn't been showing in the adokao ao3 tag?? what the fuck ao3? how many people have wanted adonis and kaoru smut/longfic and fOUND NONE? I let you down. ao3 let you down) so time to break my hands and get back at it.
> 
> Enjoy. Adokao fake dating fic.

Kaoru’s arms felt sweaty under his Undead jacket, another live over and done with. The audience wanted an encore, and Kaoru’s clothes stuck to his skin with perspiration as he desperately opened the back door for some fresh air.

It was a quiet night. Atmosphere completely different from the live house he just exited. Kaoru sighed, still catching his breath, opening a bottle of water that he took with him.

It tasted delicious, like an oasis in a desert, water dripping down his chin as he tipped the bottle upward.

“K-Kaoru-kun…?” A quiet feminine voice called out into the darkness.

Kaoru gasped in surprise. A woman? Out here?

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to startle you,” she apologized, now visible in the dim light of a street lamp.

Kaoru recognized her, she was a fan, a memorable face from far too many of their autograph signings. She was the kind of fan to collect merch, dozens of the same piece, decorating a tote bag with them. Kaoru didn’t want to think obsessed, but after meeting her a few times she definitely seemed like the kind of fan to dive into the garbage for his chewed gum.

Coming up to him in the darkness after a show, that wasn’t really doing anything to change his impression of her.

“Shouldn’t you be inside? I wouldn’t want a cute girl like you to catch a chill out here,” Kaoru smiled, “I’ll walk you back to the main door if you’d like.”

“U-um...” she was silent, metal badges on her bag clinking against each other as she moved closer.

_ ‘All women are queens, be polite!’  _ Kaoru thought to himself, slightly unnerved at the encounter. “I can’t let you inside this way, it’s backstage, I think the other guys would be pretty mad at me for letting a girl in.” He pointed toward the other side of the building, where the main door was, “C’mon, let’s go together.” He took off his cap, fanning himself with it as he walked toward her. His other hand was extended toward her, which she took hold of all too quickly.

“Kaoru-kun! Will you go on a date with me?” she gasped, taking his hand and looking him in the eyes.

_ A sudden confession! _

“I...” Kaoru began, unsure how to respond. He didn’t like to date fans. It was one thing if a lovely girl found out he was an idol after the fact and was attracted to it, but it was a whole other kind of relationship if the girl  _ only  _ liked him because he was an idol. It just didn’t feel right. “Sorry,” he added, and he could see her expression drop, “I’m seeing someone now, I don’t know if I’d call her a girlfriend, but... ” he paused. 

It would be too obvious of a lie if he said he was too busy for dating. He was always going on dates, busy or not. 

It didn’t feel good making excuses like this, but it also didn’t feel right dating fans, much less one as obsessive as this. He tried to let her down as gently as possible. “I want to be loyal to her, you can respect that, right?”

The poor girl looked like she was about to cry, bringing a sleeved hand to her face to wipe at her eyes.

Not missing a beat, she replied, “What’s her name?”

“What?” Kaoru never got a reply like that before. Generally girls just accepted this kind of thing. Maybe they did cry, which was sad (Kaoru didn’t want to make girls cry!), but generally they dropped the subject.

“The girl.”

_ ‘Why should I tell you that?’ _ Kaoru wanted to reply back, but no,  _ all women are queens _ . He had to come up with a name, and  _ fast _ . 

Any names of real girls he knew were off limits. He had no idea why this girl was asking in the first place; was she going to track them down? That was scary to think about. Kaoru looked at his surroundings for inspiration, he had to come up with a name.  _ Tree _ ? No.  _ Brick _ ? No.

This was useless.

Knight in shining armor to save him from this awkward situation, Adonis opened the door, peeking outside.

“Adonis!” Kaoru stated, with a eureka-like expression on his face.

“You’re dating  _ Adonis _ ?” the girl echoed, dumbfounded.

Kaoru stared at her, emotionless, realizing what he just said. This was awkward and weird and he really  _ really  _ just wanted to get back inside and take off this sweaty outfit.

Adonis put his arm around Kaoru’s shoulder, “Hakaze-senpai, I was looking all over for you. You did great tonight.”

_ ‘Don’t make it weird, don’t make it weird,’ _ Kaoru chanted in his head. The fan was watching them intently.

“Oogami is exhausted, I think he may head out soon. Do you want to say goodbye?” His hand was resting on Kaoru’s shoulder, and before Kaoru could even reply he added, “Also would you like a shoulder massage backstage, you seem tense?”

_ ‘Goddamnit! You made it weird!’ _

The girl had a flush on her cheeks, eyeing where Adonis’s hand squeezed Kaoru’s shoulder, “I’ll go now… I’m sorry to bother you… Thanks.” She skittered off from where she came, and Kaoru never even got a word in.

“Ah...” Adonis sighed, watching the girl jog off. “Did I scare her? I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to startle her. Were you two talking about something important?”

“S-Sort of?” Kaoru laughed awkwardly. There was no easy way to say  _ ‘She thinks we’re a couple,’ _ and laugh it off. “You appeared at kind of a bad time Dodonis-kun...”

“I apologize, also my name is Adonis.”

“Yeah, sure...” Kaoru wanted to continue, but couldn’t find the words. The other boy was looking at him expectantly. Adonis’s hand was still on his shoulder, and that made him shiver uncomfortably, given the circumstances. 

Better to get it over with... “Also I  _ think  _ she thinks we’re a couple,” Kaoru quickly uttered, ashamed. There it was, out in the open. “It doesn’t make me happy she thinks I’m with a guy of course, but… it’s an honest mistake!”

Adonis wanted to question how something like that was a mistake, but Kaoru already seemed stressed over it and it wouldn’t do good to add to that.

“She won’t tell anyone!” Kaoru said, and it seemed like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Adonis.

Adonis didn’t seem disturbed by this in the slightest! Someone thought they were a couple! Kaoru couldn’t tell if it was his ever-calm demeanor, or… maybe he was actually…  _ you know. _ Kaoru didn’t want to think about the word. The one that starts with G and ends with AY.

The one he himself definitely wasn’t.

“She won’t tell anyone!” Kaoru repeated again, “It’s no big deal, sorry to drag you into this Anidos-kun.”

“If that name did not start with an A and end in a S, I wouldn’t be certain you were trying for my name. For the second time today Hakaze-senpai, it’s Adonis.”

“Okay,” Kaoru laughed awkwardly, still clearly out of his element. He pat Adonis on the back, and even that felt weird, “Let’s go back inside Adonis-kun.”

Adonis only nodded, holding the door open for Kaoru, locking it behind them as they stepped inside.

Almost instantly, Rei had his arms around them, one arm on either of their shoulders. His jacket and hat were off, set aside in the dressing room perhaps, and Koga was at his side, arms folded and perpetually pissed off expression on his face.

“Sakuma-senpai?” Adonis questioned the sudden skinship.

“It’s so nice to see the happy couple getting along together,” Rei smiled, pulling Adonis and Kaoru closer to him, “I was always worried about you Kaoru-kun. Adonis-kun will take good care of you.”

“Tch,” Koga scowled, “This is just some dumb tabloid shit, right? No way our heterosexual wants a piece of Adonis.”

No no  _ no _ . This was all a dream. That girl must have drugged him and he was having some kind of vivid homosexual dream. There was no way those two troublemakers overheard what went on outside too. The teasing would never end. The atmosphere felt tense.

To append to that earlier thought, if it was homosexual, it would surely be a nightmare and not a dream.

“Ah...” Adonis frowned, “Sakuma-senpai, Oogami, did you hear what went on outside too?”

“Outside?” Rei questioned, “Doggie was showing me his tweeter.”

“It’s  _ twitter _ , you old vampire!” Koga barked, unlocking his phone and giving it to Kaoru. All he had to do was search for Adonis and Kaoru’s names together and dozens of tweets popped up.

_ “omg… i’m fcking crying… Kaoru-kun n Adonis-kun” _

_ “I wanted Ado-chan to end up with Koga-kun...” _

_ “I knew Kaoru wasn’t straight!!! GET IT ADONIS” _

_ “Kaoru jssfsdffffffdsasdsa aaaaaa adonis aaaaaaaaaa” _

“Some huge fan-account updated like five minutes ago and everyone’s going nuts, what the hell happened out there?” Koga took his phone back, scrolling through the feed. He laughed to himself, returning to a frown moments later to read, “This one says  _ ‘I wonder how many times Kaoru-kun can take Adonis-kun before he gets sore lol’ _ … what the fuck did you two  _ DO _ ?” His eyes were on Kaoru, because, obviously, this had to be Kaoru’s fault.

“W-What kind of fans do you follow?” Kaoru rebuttal. This was too much to take in at once. He didn’t want to think of the implications of half those tweets. His image was ruined forever.

Koga rolled his eyes, “It’s the search function, stop deflectin’. What happened?”

Adonis spoke up, “Hakaze-senpai accidentally told someone we were a couple, and she ran off before he could correct her.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Koga responded, completely deadpan. “Are you serious?”

Adonis nodded, “Very.”

Even Rei was a bit taken aback. He removed his arms from what he thought was the ‘happy couple’, one hand raised to his chin in thought. “How unlucky...” He murmured, looking Kaoru’s way, “A fan with a very large following has spread word that Kaoru-kun and Adonis-kun are an item.”

“Don’t act so calm about it!” Kaoru replied, stress visible in his voice, “I’m the one whose life is ruined. I don’t want rumors going around that I’m dating a guy!” He practically shivered at the thought. No girl would ever want to date him now.

“Oy, don’t forget about Adonis,” Koga cut in, “He’s half the rumors too!”

Adonis didn’t look particularly stressed, or upset, or anything; just deep in thought.

“W-what if we just...” Kaoru began, desperation taking over, “What if we put out a tweet that she’s wrong! Like!  _ Oops! Sorry! It’s a Misunderstanding! Kaoru and Adonis-kun are a not a couple, also Kaoru likes women! Kaoru loves ladies! A lot! _ ”

“Thats gotta be way over 140 characters,” Koga groaned, “You got yourself into this mess and that’s all you got? The news is out, that just makes it sound like we’re tryna’ cover it up.”

“What if you pretended to date?” Rei added, “Now that the information is out, I’m sure fans will go wild if you two so much as post an instant-gram--”

_ “Instagram!” _ Koga coughed.

“What was that? Doggie, are you feeling alright? --In any case, fans will go wild if you two so much as post an instant-gram together. Perhaps we can turn this into a good thing?” Rei smiled Kaoru’s way, but Kaoru wasn’t having any of it.

“That makes sense, but I don’t want to make Hakaze-senpai uncomfortable... ” Adonis looked to his feet, suddenly facing the rest of them with another suggestion, “What if we break up?”

“No way.” Koga was all too quick to respond. “That would look awful for Undead, we’d probably get a lotta news about how we’re gonna struggle as a unit or somethin’ because of that.”

“Doggie, you’re so smart,” Rei pat his head, “Good boy, good boy.” Koga looked pissed, and Rei continued speaking as Koga swatted at his hand, “Then that settles it, Kaoru-kun and Adonis-kun are now boyfriends.”

Kaoru felt his soul leave his body. 

Goodbye ladies, hello Adonis.


	2. first date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru idly tapped his phone (there were no girls to text!) taking a pouty selfie and uploading it with the caption “Adonis-kun is keeping me waiting!”  
> Comments flooded in.  
> “Be patient Kaoru-kun! Adonis-kun is a good boy”  
> “Cute!!!!! Kaoru-kun is so cute!”  
> “Give him a kiss”  
> “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love................................... adokao. i have at least 5 other things i should be working on but let me tell you about adokao and how they fake date

“Alright, so how are we doing this?” Kaoru started. The four of them were backstage; Rei and Koga were changing back into their normal clothes, and Kaoru was receiving a massage from Adonis. “It doesn’t make me happy to get my shoulders massaged by a guy, but I guess I have to get used to it.” Rei insisted on the massage, as Kaoru looked so tense he might collapse.

“Am I hurting you?” Adonis asked, merely taking issue with the fact Kaoru wasn’t happy with the massage, reason flying over his head.

“Only my heart,” Kaoru sighed dramatically, “Now that we’re an item, I can’t go on any more dates with girls, can I?”

“Adonis can’t go on dates either, y’idiot!” Koga growled, all too ready to remind Kaoru that he was only half of the affected party.

“Adonis doesn’t go on dates anyway!” Kaoru whined, “Who’s he gonna go on a date with?  _ You? _ ”

Koga pouted, turning up his nose as his cheeks went red; Rei laughed.

Kaoru closed his eyes, letting go of a proper sitting posture as Adonis’s strong hands massaged his shoulders.

“So, when is your first date with Kaoru-kun?” Rei asked Adonis, smile on his face. Kaoru found nothing funny about this.

“I don’t know,” Adonis answered, moving his face close to Kaoru’s to make eye contact, ”Hakaze-senpai, when is our first date?”

“B-Back up a little! You can touch my shoulders for now, but my face is off limits!” Kaoru complained, worried Adonis would go in for the kiss. “It doesn’t make me happy to think about going on a date with you! Don’t call it a ‘first date’ either! My first date was with a girl.”

“I’m sorry to startle you, though, speaking of limits… when we go on dates, am I allowed to embrace you?”

“I don’t want to be hugged by a guy! No way!” Kaoru was all too quick to answer. It should be obvious that kind of thing was off limits!

“What about holding hands?” Adonis offered, and Kaoru could hear Koga laughing at this predicament. What an asshole. Karma should have him fake date Rei, but there was no way that would happen.

“No!” Kaoru frowned, “And let me choose where we go for our first date, people might be watching, so I’ll pick a trendy restaurant.”

“I see, thank you. I’m excited to see what kind of food Hakaze-senpai likes,” Adonis said, ceasing the massage of Kaoru’s shoulders. The blond slumped in the chair when Adonis let go of him.

“D-Don’t go treating this like a real date! I’m just doing this because we have to keep up the image.” He pointed a finger at Adonis, as if lecturing him.

“Be nice to Adonis-kun,” Rei calmly stated, lowering Kaoru’s hand as he said it, “Doggie and I are taking our leave, please don’t hesitate to contact me if you get overwhelmed.”

Koga just rolled his eyes as he left the room, “Don’t contact  _ me _ , you got yourself into this mess.” He re-entered almost immediately, quickly whispering to Adonis, “Lemme know if this guy does anything weird to ya.”

“Hakaze-senpai is a respectable man,” Adonis said as Koga exited once more, “Please don’t worry about me Oogami.”

“I ain’t worried!” Koga yelled back. The door shut behind him, leaving the ‘couple’ alone.

Adonis immediately turned to Kaoru, “I think Oogami is worried.” He frowned, “We can do this, right?” He had no qualms about spending time with Kaoru, he was even looking forward to getting to know the often-absent blond, but not under these circumstances.

“Yeah,” Kaoru stood up, changing his clothes and gathering his makeup, “I’m sure after one or two dates people will forget about us, then I can go back to dating girls, and you can go back to watching the birds in the park… or whatever you do.”

“I see,” Adonis said, and he sounded a bit relieved. “We also never decided on our first date; what kind of restaurant is it? Is it one of those cafes that mainly serves dessert?” Adonis knew Kaoru loved to take girls to those. He had a sweet tooth himself, so it sounded nice. He wouldn’t mind getting parfaits or cakes with Kaoru; if it was a date, they might even share one (or two, or three… Kaoru needed to get stronger)

“No way! That’s where I take girls, I don’t want to make any weird memories there.” Kaoru had a makeup remover wipe to his face, so he didn’t catch Adonis’s sad expression in the mirror, “It doesn’t make me happy to go on dates with a guy you know, even if it is fake.”

“I’m aware.”

“Anyway,” Kaoru began again, removing his eyeliner, “It’s somewhere cool, western style, you order at a counter, it’s got really unique burgers and stuff.” He began applying BB cream, looking to Adonis through the mirror. He was changing his clothes, and it felt strangely intimate. He’d seen Adonis undress many times before, for practices and lives, but now they were dating.  _ ‘Fake dating,’ _ Kaoru told himself, _ ‘Snap out of it.’  _ It wasn’t as if he was seeing a date undress, because they  _ weren’t really dating _ .

“Alright,” Adonis replied, oblivious to the weird look that Kaoru was giving him.

“Man… This sucks,” Kaoru groaned, head in his hands, “I have to cancel all my dates coming up…” Unless they were cancelled already; Kaoru had yet to check his phone. It was stressful thinking about all the ladies he’d disappoint. They were all lovely women. 

God, it wasn’t just ladies, all his friends would know about this too. Ladies… friends… “If my family finds out about this mess, I’m dead.” Kaoru’s cheek rest on the table, eyes closed, as if that would help block out anxious thoughts. The BB cream on his cheek was still slightly tacky, and he was sure some of it was rubbing off onto the surface of the table.

“Hakaze-senpai, you’re a strong man.” He heard Adonis affirm, voice approaching him. “My family as well… If my sisters hear about this, surely they will be unable to leave it alone.”

“You have sisters?” Kaoru cracked an eye open, Adonis was closer than expected, but he didn’t have the energy to comment on it. “Man,” he sighed, “Why can’t I just date one of your sisters? That’d save us a lot of trouble.”

“I don’t see how that would be a remotely helpful solution. My sisters are ruthless; they would make you regret those words the moment you were face to face.”

Adonis really didn’t get it, “I’ll take anything if it’s from a cute girl, at least they’re  _ girls _ . Wouldn’t your family rather you be with a girl?”

“I suppose that’s right,” Adonis stated, wondering aloud, “I am not sure my sisters would care though, they would find a way to tease me incessantly, be it over a male or female. My mother doesn’t keep up with this sort of thing, so I’m not sure she would ever find out. Perhaps only by word of mouth from my sisters.” He was slowly tallying off family members in his head, “My father is--”

“We don’t have to talk about fathers.” Kaoru rudely interrupted. This conversation was taking a bad turn, and he was starting to feel uncomfortable. Kaoru put down his makeup brush, quickly following it with, “I should go.”

“Hakaze-senpai, you’ve only filled in one of your eyebrows.”

“R-Right.” He couldn’t escape.

Kaoru filled in his other eyebrow in silence, neither boy attempting to speak after that. Kaoru only spoke a brief “Bye” as he zipped his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and not looking back.

Adonis was left alone, and he briefly attempted to call Koga before getting overwhelmed by his phone. Kaoru seemed really upset about this, and Adonis couldn’t blame him, but it seemed like he was taking this especially hard. He wished he could make this even a little easier for him, but he wasn’t close enough to Kaoru to know how.

Out of everyone in Undead, Kaoru definitely felt the most distant. Adonis knew Rei best, friendship going way back to when he lived in his home country. Of course Koga was next, followed by Kaoru.

He was always curious about Kaoru, interested in getting to know him better, but this seemed like a strange way to end up going about it. 

* * *

Their first date happened to be after a track club practice. Kaoru waited outside the locker room for Adonis; the other boy was showering, and that was very much appreciated, as Kaoru didn’t want to have to smell man sweat the whole time they were together. Kaoru idly tapped his phone (there were no girls to text!) taking a pouty selfie and uploading it with the caption “Adonis-kun is keeping me waiting!”

Comments flooded in.

_ “Be patient Kaoru-kun! Adonis-kun is a good boy” _

_ “Cute!!!!! Kaoru-kun is so cute!” _

_ “Give him a kiss” _

_ “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” _

People stepped out of the locker room, and Kaoru took a brief glimpse up from his phone; he was only vaguely scanning their heads, looking for purple hair.

No sign of Adonis, back to the comments.

_ “What were they doing in that locker room?” _

_ “Love you.” _

Eyes glued to his phone screen, a call of “Kaoru-san!” caught his attention.

“Madara-kun! You scared me… Don’t call me Kaoru-san though, it sounds like you’re talking to a girl. It’s weird,” it really did feel weird, Madara was pretty intent on calling everyone -san, “Call me Hakaze or Kaoru-kun like everyone else.”

Madara only rest a hand on his shoulder, definitely not acknowledging any of that.

“Kaoru-san...” Kaoru sighed at the name, he wasn’t even surprised, “My baby told me all about your date and I--”

“Hold on.  _ Baby _ ?” Kaoru interrupted.

“Adonis-san.” That didn’t clear anything up, but Madara acted like it did and proceeded nonetheless, “Take good care of Adonis-san today, that’s all I’d like to say.”

This was weird. It was like meeting a girl’s overprotective father.

Madara smiled at him, following with an, “Okay?” which didn’t put Kaoru at ease. He was glad when Madara took his leave, schoolbag over his shoulder and heading to whatever challenge awaited him. He kind of wanted to tweet about how weird that was, but if Madara really was invested in how he treated his  _ baby _ , he was probably keeping an eye on Kaoru’s twitter.

Now that Kaoru got a good look at him,  _ he probably actually was _ . He was standing against a wall a dozen meters ahead, checking his phone, waving when he caught Kaoru looking at him.

“Hakaze-senpai, I’m sorry for taking so long.”

“Oh! It’s you Adonis-kun!” Kaoru looked to Adonis, then back to Madara, who was still looking at him.

Without any warning he grabbed for Adonis’s hand, not completely sure why, but he felt like he was pressured to under Madara’s gaze.

“Hakaze-senpai?” Adonis seemed surprised, flinching for a moment, “I thought you said hand holding was off limits?”

“It’s not… It’s not off limits anymore,” Kaoru’s face was starting to flush, and he couldn’t hold eye contact with Madara or Adonis. Kaoru pulled Adonis forward by the hand, heading the opposite direction to Madara, “Let’s go.”

* * *

The walk to the restaurant was short, and Kaoru was glad for that, because it gave less of an opportunity for awkward conversation. He didn’t make it a habit to be alone with a guy, so he wasn’t sure what to say. If he was with a girl he could tell her how beautiful she looked today, but there was no way in hell he would say that to Adonis.

Kaoru sighed, he knew his whole date was just going to be him alone with a guy, but food always makes things less awkward. At a restaurant you can talk about the food and the atmosphere. Plus, though Kaoru rarely showed to practice, he was aware Adonis loved food. He was always telling the other members of their unit (and frankly, anyone who would listen) to eat more and get stronger. Adonis didn’t seem like the type to seek out particularly trendy restaurants, so he was in for a treat today.

“So, tell me more about this restaurant Hakaze-senpai,” Adonis spoke up, he walked a bit closer to Kaoru, to be certain Kaoru could hear his voice amongst the dozens of other people walking near them.

“It’s pretty neat, I already told you all the food is stuff like burgers or burritos. They even have some desserts too, but--” Just as Kaoru was about to follow up with his next point, at least five different thoughts clicked together in his head.

_ But it’s vegan. _

_ But there’s no meat. _

_ Adonis-kun loves meat. _

_ This is so embarrassing. _

_ Crap! _

Kaoru didn’t know why he cared so much. It wasn’t as if Adonis were a real date he was trying to impress, but his choice just showed such a lack of attention to basic detail that it felt humiliating. Kaoru didn’t make it a habit to pay attention to guys, but this was like forgetting that Rei had the whole vampire thing going on, it was just something so intrinsic to his personality.

It was too late to bring Adonis somewhere else, they were mere steps from the restaurant, and Adonis was looking at him expectantly after that  _ ‘but’ _ .

_ No going back now. _

“But…! This place doesn’t use meat… or like… animal products. You should try something new once in a while, right?”

That sounded genuine. Maybe? Kaoru just came up with it on the spot.

“Hakaze-senpai, you’re very wise,” Adonis nodded, “But if there’s no meat, that doesn’t sound very nutritious at all.”

“It’ll be fine! It’ll be fine!” Kaoru guided him inside, unsure if he was trying to convince himself or Adonis, all too ready for this awkward experience to be over with.

The pair ordered at the counter; Kaoru wasn’t sure if he should offer to pay for Adonis’s food, or if Adonis was going to pay for his. Usually Kaoru would pay for his date’s food to be polite. How did that work with guys though…?

While in thought about who pays for who’s food, Adonis ended up ordering his meal and paying, taking a seat at a nearby table. Kaoru was up next, and he got himself some kind of chicken sandwich that definitely wasn’t made out of real chicken.

Adonis evidently ordered one of the many burger options. It came out looking just like a real hamburger (not that this wasn’t real, but it didn’t have meat or cheese that was made of  _ meat  _ and  _ cheese _ ) and Adonis seemed rather impressed, taking off the bun and almost questioning, “But that looks like meat? How did they do that?”

Kaoru shrugged, in the middle of Instagramming his food, “I don’t know. I didn’t make it, but it’s not meat.” He was on edge as Adonis took the first bite; it had the potential to ruin the whole date.

_ ‘No.’ Kaoru caught himself.  _ Adonis wasn’t a girl. This wasn’t a real date. He didn’t need to take this so seriously.

After swallowing his first bite, Adonis looked to the plate of food, expression unreadable. “It’s delicious,” he said, almost skeptical, “How did they do this?” It sounded so incredulous, as if the  _ they  _ he was referring to were the vegan gods who bestowed upon him this meal.

“I don’t know,” Kaoru answered again, internally breathing a sigh of relief, “The meat could be some kind of vegetables or tofu or something. I have no idea what the cheese could be, but it’s good right? I think this kind of food is popular overseas, it’s cool, isn’t it?”

Adonis only nodded in acknowledgement, taking another bite. He didn’t seem to want to talk much while he was eating, if ever, which Kaoru was pretty thankful for.

“Hakaze-senpai,” Adonis said, and Kaoru’s attention was taken from his phone, “If I ask one of the waitresses, would they know what the food is made of?”

“Probably, but do you really care that much? It’s kind of embarrassing...”

Before Kaoru could add on anything else, Adonis had already called over a waitress, all too eager from hearing him say  _ ‘probably’ _ .

“What can I help you with?” The girl asked. She was wearing an apron with the restaurant’s logo on it.

“Is this cheese? What is it made out of if it isn’t made out of cheese?”

“Oh!” It seemed like she got this question quite often, “That’s made out of nutritional yeast. It has a similar nutty flavor to real cheese, doesn’t it?”

Adonis looked at her like she was speaking another language.

To be fair, Kaoru had never heard of nutritional yeast either.

“It does, that’s why I was so curious. May I ask another question?”

“Sure.”

“What is the point of not using real dairy and meat? Meat has many nutritional benefits.”

Adonis didn’t mean any ill will, but just the way he asked it could have been worded better… Kaoru found himself cringing a bit. Maybe this is why Adonis doesn’t go on dates. 

They could never come back here.

“The whole point of not using meat or dairy,” She began, as if she’s had to explain this to many many people, probably less kind than Adonis, “Is to eat natural healthy food that doesn’t harm animals. We get protein and vitamins from other sources.”

“I understand,” Adonis nodded politely, “Thank you for the explanation.”

The waitress smiled and took her leave, removing their empty plates.

“That’s a good cause,” Adonis said, still thinking about the waitress’s words. “I had no idea you were such a noble guy Hakaze-senpai, it appears I misjudged you, and I’m very sorry.”

_ ‘You’re misjudging me again!’ _ Kaoru wanted to reply,  _ ‘I just like this because it’s trendy!’ _ Instead he laughed a bit, both in relief and at Adonis misinterpreting his motives.

Adonis was more gentle than he thought. Though he might say awkward things, he had the best intent, and probably didn’t have a mean bone in his body.

If he were a girl, Kaoru would probably genuinely enjoy going on a date with him. They could go see a movie, have a walk in the park, or maybe even share dessert.

If Adonis were a girl, he’d probably have long hair, still purple, always tied up into a ponytail from being active. Or maybe it would be cut short out of convenience. Kaoru couldn’t decide which option he liked better. 

Realistically, he’d have a body like his sisters’. Kaoru had never seen his sisters, but he could only assume they were good looking (Otogari genes didn’t let Adonis down after all). They were probably fit and strong, given all Adonis has said about them. He would definitely have a nice body.

Adonis would be a cute girl. Very quiet and polite. Strangely enough, now that he had to think about it, Adonis was quite girly (or at least, had qualities often found in girls).

“Hakaze-senpai,” Adonis got his attention, snapping Kaoru out of that weird daydream about a female version of him, “Your phone screen keeps lighting up.”

“Thanks Adonis-kun,” Kaoru unlocked his phone, notifications from his recently uploaded image piling up. It was a picture of his food that he took earlier, captioned with a bear emoji and  _ ‘With Dodonis-kun.’ _ Kaoru didn’t notice the typo at the time, oops. He was too concerned with the issue of accidentally bringing a meat lover to a vegan restaurant.

The comments however, noticed the typo.

_ “Dodonis lololol” _

_ “lmfao is that a pet name...” _

_ “dodonis-kun…. Kaoru-kun is soo cute” _

At least the fans enjoyed it. Kaoru replied to a few, Adonis watching him. His eyes traced Kaoru’s taps on the screen, it was like a cat and a laser pointer.

“You’re very good with your phone,” Adonis stated, watching Kaoru tap various parts of the screen and scroll through different photos on his feed.

Kaoru kept scrolling, “It’s no big deal. Do you have a smartphone Adonis-kun?” maybe Adonis still used an old flip phone, and that’s why he was so impressed. 

Merely seconds later Kaoru recalled that Adonis was in the Undead group chat, so he had to have a smartphone.

“No, I have a smartphone,” Adonis took out his phone; the screen was cracked near the corner, and he seemed like he had no idea what he was doing as he tried to unlock it.

Kaoru laughed, “Did you drop it? You should probably get a case.”

“I did, my hands just feel too large for this delicate phone. I think I’ve broken it more often than I’ve used it correctly.” Adonis seemed a bit flustered, he put the phone back in his pocket.

“So you keep getting new ones?” This was so ridiculous. Phones are expensive!

“My sisters help me get it repaired, but if that does not work, my parents buy a new one,” Adonis noticed Kaoru looking at him weird, “Have you ever broken your phone Hakaze-senpai?”

“No way, my dad would kill me,” Kaoru answered, as if that was the general reaction of a parent. Adonis’s family seemed weird, and some part of him was even a little jealous. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“It seems my situation is unusual then, I understand. Sorry to trouble you.”

He wasn’t being troublesome at all. Adonis was too polite for his own good. He was totally unlike Koga, or even Rei. Every now and then he said something weird, but he meant well.

_ ‘Too bad he’s not a girl,’ _ Kaoru caught himself thinking,  _ ‘I really wouldn’t mind taking a cute girl like this out for parfaits.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just have to note that this restaurant actually does exist but i was too scared to be specific w location/menu because what if people really are looking for a vegan restaurant when they go to jp and my fucking ensemble stars fanfiction shows up when they google "(location) vegan restaurant" i'd die.  
> vegan restaurants exist there, and i actually got the idea for this ch when i was eating in said restaurant.
> 
> anyway tag yourself im “What were they doing in that locker room?”


	3. the photoshoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There he was, Kaoru Hakaze, ladies man, sitting on Adonis’s lap for photos.   
> There was photo evidence of this, he could just die.

Days and weeks went on, almost a month had passed since Kaoru and Adonis began ‘dating’, and no one seemed to want to forget about it anytime soon. Their fans excitement never waned, sns comments and likes flowing in; those same fans attended lives too, decorating fans and bags and the like with things like _ADONIS_ _♥_ _KAORU_. It was exhausting at first, but Kaoru got more used to it over time. Adonis wasn’t used to all the attention either; Kaoru could tell he had more fans than usual.

As for their dates, after the vegan restaurant debacle, Kaoru let Adonis choose the next location. The younger boy picked an all you can eat yakiniku restaurant, which was delicious, if not incredibly expected of him. There must have been a fan in that restaurant during their date, seeing as an image of Adonis feeding Kaoru a piece of meat from his chopsticks went rather viral among their fans.

_“You should try this piece Hakaze-senpai, it’s a very delicious cut,” Adonis said, holding the piece of meat up above the tiny grill between them._

_It did look very good, Kaoru looked around the table for his plate, “One sec Adonis-kun,” there were too many plates of meat crowding the table, he couldn’t pick it up without worrying something would fall off. He sighed, leaning over the table, “Just put it in my mouth.” Kaoru pointed to his mouth, and Adonis delicately fed him the meat._

Kaoru cursed himself for the behavior afterward, though the meat was delicious. He really let his guard down. That kind of behaviour was only allowed on dates with girls!

_“I don’t want pictures of me being fed by a guy!” Kaoru complained afterward, showing Adonis the image from his smartphone._

_“I’m sorry Hakaze-senpai,” he apologized, “I did not even think that there could be someone watching.” Kaoru looked cute in the picture, so Adonis didn’t think it was a big deal, but Kaoru seemed quite disgusted by it._

Thankfully, this week they weren’t having a date. Replacing their usual date was a group photoshoot with the rest of Undead. They planned to arrive at the studio in the morning, leaving sometime around nightfall, which left no time for a date. ‘ _How tragic,’_ thought Kaoru.

They were shooting for a magazine and the photographer wanted shots of them in their unit outfits, followed by some other looks.

At the studio, Kaoru was assessing himself in the mirror, repositioning his hat (those darn things always looked awful in photos, the brim of the hat cast an ugly shadow over his eyes, what was Rei thinking?) when he felt Adonis beside him.

“Hakaze-senpai,” Adonis began, far more comfortable speaking to Kaoru than he was a few weeks ago, “I’m very inexperienced in this sort of thing, please help me do well at these photos today.”

“There’s no need to be so formal Adonis-kun,” Kaoru took off his hat, hoping they could just ditch them for photos. “Let’s practice in here, follow my lead okay?”

The two of them fit perfectly in the full body mirror; Kaoru would hold a pose, and Adonis would try and imitate it. Adonis tried very hard, but he just didn’t have that same flirty-sexy appeal that Kaoru did. Kaoru tried some cooler poses, like face turned, glaring at the mirror with disinterest. Those looked a lot better on Adonis.

He looked pretty cool, even Kaoru could admit it to himself.

“Thank you for all the help Hakaze-senpai, you’re very good at this.”

“It’s no big deal,” Kaoru brushed off the compliment, “They’re probably going to give us mics too, you should think about how to pose with that. You’re really strong, so you could probably lift the whole mic stand into the air if you wanted.”

Adonis mulled over the thought, thanking Kaoru for his assistance and leaving the dressing room to try and practice with a mic stand.

“Adonis-kun has really grown on you, hasn’t he?” Rei smiled, just barely standing outside the range of the mirror.

Kaoru shrugged, he was forced to spend time with Adonis a lot lately, it was only natural they got along more.

Rei walked closer to Kaoru, picking up his hat and properly placing it on the blond’s head. Kaoru didn’t seem particularly pleased by the gesture. “It’s nice to see you getting along, you’re acting more like a senpai, which is unexpected.”

Kaoru was fully intent on not having a sentimental ‘ _you're such a good senpai after all’_ conversation right now, “Not really, I’m the same as ever Sakuma-san.”

“But you are. You could have easily answered his request with, _‘Go ask Sakuma-san or the puppy how to pose’_ , but you didn’t.” Rei was looking at Kaoru like he knew he was correct.

Thankfully, the conversation ended there, photographer calling them out of the dressing room and onto the set. Their first set of photos was taken in front of a completely white backdrop. The room was such a clean and pure white that everyone had to remove their shoes beforehand, so as to not taint it. There were no background props to interact with, so Undead had to rely on their own posing skill. Kaoru thought Adonis would be nervous, but instead he looked determined.

“Alright,” the photographer began, she was a woman in her thirties, “How about we split you up and do photos of pairs first? Second years and third years.”

Kaoru was used to being paired off with Rei, nothing new here. They made a good team, Rei had a seductive appeal, while Kaoru was flirty. Where Rei smiled at the camera, Kaoru would wink, or maybe blow a kiss.

Koga and Adonis’s photos went alright as well. Their overall image was rather intimidating. Koga growled at the camera while Adonis looked aloof. Kaoru was sure some fans were probably into that kind of thing.

After that, they posed as a group of four. Rei and Kaoru were in the center, being the oldest, with Koga next to Rei and Adonis next to Kaoru. They took a few shots, before the photographer told them to take off their jackets and hats.

“We have a stage area for shooting as well, we can use that later, but for now let’s make this look like you just got out of a live,” the photographer tried to set the next scene, “Hakaze-san, maybe take your jacket halfway off, Sakuma-san can try slinging his over his shoulder. Oogami-san… right, okay, you’ve already thrown yours off to the side. Otogari-san, can you ditch yours too?”

Adonis set his jacket off to the side with Koga’s. They tried various poses, photographer eventually spraying them with a spray bottle to create the illusion of sweat. Maybe twenty minutes later the desired shot was found, and she saw it fit for them to move on.

“Are we going to the stage set next?” Adonis asked her, putting his jacket back on and handing Koga his.

The photographer looked up from her lights, already shutting some of them off to prepare to move them to the next set. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking,” she looked at all of them, wondering what to do next. Maybe it would be good to have a break, she noted, watching Kaoru dab at the fake sweat on his face with a tissue. Rei was leisurely sipping tomato juice outside of the white set.

“Actually,” she began, “Hakaze-san, Otogari-san, can we take a few photos with the two of you? Sakuma-san and Oogami-san can take a break for a bit, if that’s alright.”

“Got it,” Koga waved, he was already out of the room, Rei following behind him. Rei flashed them a smile, as if to say _‘Good luck’._

Kaoru was a bit confused though, he didn’t usually end up in photos with Adonis. He and Rei were generally the main stars of the show. “Why me and Adonis-kun?” Kaoru asked curiously, watching the photographer turn on her lights once more.

“You’re a couple, aren’t you?” she answered, as if he had asked the dumbest question in the world.

“Yes, we are,” Adonis affirmed. Kaoru was still a bit hesitant in saying it. “How would you like us to pose?”

“I was thinking Otogari-san could take off his shirt and--”

“Whoa, whoa, back up,” Kaoru cut in, “Why does Adonis-kun take off his shirt?”

“Do you want to take yours off too?” the photographer asked, eyeing Kaoru’s body.

“No! Not with--” _him!_ Kaoru wanted to say, but he stopped himself. That wasn’t very couple-like. “--all of these lights shining down on us. It’s a bit embarrassing, don’t you think?” Kaoru weakly laughed at his excuse. It sounded fake as hell, he was never one to care for something like that. If it was for a lady, he would take his shirt off. He would take anything off.

“I had no idea you were so modest, sorry Hakaze-san,” she apologized.

_She bought it!_

“Otogari-san, if you’re alright with removing your shirt, do that, then take a seat,” Adonis began removing his shirt, as instructed, “And I’d like Hakaze-san to sit on his lap, facing him.”

Kaoru’s head was spinning. What. _Adonis’s lap?_ That wasn’t very heterosexual at all!

“This series of shots should be bust up, so tangle your legs however you want,” she continued, paying no mind to Kaoru’s worried expression.

Adonis had already undressed -- _‘No… don’t think of it as undressing, it’s just his shirt!’_ Kaoru thought to himself, as if that would make it less weird-- and he was waiting for Kaoru to sit in his lap. Kaoru begrudgingly took a seat, leather clad thighs on either side of Adonis’s. “I’m not doing this because I want to, I really don’t want to do this,” Kaoru mumbled into Adonis’s ear.

“Yes--! Perfect!” the photographer already had her camera out, “Adonis, look at little happier, your boyfriend is in your lap, isn’t he? Turn that frown upside down!” she happily parroted, filled with glee as Adonis finally smiled for the shot.

Kaoru’s heart was racing from this stupid position. It took a lot of effort to hold his body up like this; he wasn’t actually going to sit in Adonis’s lap, so he held his body up just barely above the other man. His thighs were working overtime today.

“Hakaze-senpai, please relax, I think you're shaking.”

Kaoru would love to make good on that and relax, but that was nearly impossible given the situation, and things weren't improving as he felt Adonis’s hand on his back, gently easing him down until he was sitting on Adonis’s thighs.

There he was, Kaoru Hakaze, ladies man, sitting on Adonis’s lap for photos. There was photo evidence of this, he could just die.

He heard the photographer say something, but he was hardly paying attention, already on edge at the fact he could feel another man's body heat through his pants.

Then… Adonis’s arms were around him, ever so gently pulling him closer and _oh that must be what the photographer was just saying_. Kaoru could feel his face flushing at this horrible situation, hiding it against Adonis’s shoulder.

“There! Perfect, it's perfect, Otogari-san, look up at the camera over Hakaze-san’s shoulder!”

Kaoru could barely hear the camera’s shutter over his own heartbeat. He could feel it pounding in his chest and his throat and his ears and places he never even knew he could feel a pulse from. This was nothing like their typical photo shoots; it didn't even feel like the ones for ads where he got to pose with women. This just felt so sexual… was it because he was with Adonis?

“Adonis-kun can we stop for a bit…” Kaoru weakly asked, trying to push away from him but only ending up placing his hand on Adonis’s bare chest. _‘That was definitely a nipple I just touched…’_ he regretfully realized.

Adonis was genuinely concerned, moving Kaoru so they were face to face, “Hakaze-senpai, are you alright?”

Kaoru could feel Adonis’s breath on his lips, they were that close, the other boys hand on his chin.

It looked like they were about to kiss! The photographer couldn't resist snapping a picture, but Adonis put his hand toward the lens, trying to block it. “I think Hakaze-senpai would like a break as well, I’m sorry to inconvenience you, can we return to this later?”

“O-Oh! Sure! Sorry,” she apologized, bowing and letting the camera hang from its neck strap. “Please relax all you need, our next set of photos will be on the stage set, so you can put your clothes back on.”

That was a relief, more for Kaoru than Adonis. Upon hearing his dismissal he ran out of the room, down the hall, and pushed open the bathroom door and stopped at a sink. His face was flushed in the mirror, even with makeup on. It felt hopelessly warm, and he found himself wetting a paper towel, cold water of course, and pressing it to his forehead.

The chilled towel filled him with some relief, but he was still stressed… this whole photo shoot managed to rile him up so much. The most he’d done with Adonis was holding hands, so this felt like too much too soon; how intimate did the photographer assume they were? They'd been together a month or something, right? What did she assume they’d done… she clearly assumed Kaoru had seen him shirtless… and sat in his lap. _‘What comes after that?’_ Kaoru dropped the towel in the sink, frustratedly finger combing his hair.

“Ugh...” Kaoru groaned, “I can't think about that…” he pressed a new paper towel against his cheeks next, shooing away thoughts of what comes after sitting in Adonis’s lap shirtless.

“Kaoru-kun,” a voice called from the door, and Kaoru was sure Rei was on his list of _Top 5 people I don't want to see right now_.

“Sakuma-San… nothing to see here, just…” _cooling off?_ That sounded weird! Adonis didn’t make him hot or anything. Adonis was a guy!

“Kaoru-kun.” Rei repeated, getting a little closer. He peeled the towel from Kaoru’s cheeks, and Kaoru held it in his hand, “You'll ruin your makeup if you do that.”

Rei was right.

“Sorry,” Kaoru apologized,”We’re still on a break right? I'll fix it instead of eating some lunch with you guys. It's my bad, really.”

“I'm sure the photographer will give you all the time you need, there's no need to rush.” Rei’s voice was calm, collected, as if he didn't only come in here to tell Kaoru to mind his makeup; and that worried Kaoru.

“Right.” Kaoru replied awkwardly, “I'll just use the restroom and head back.” That seemed reasonable, Rei couldn't lecture him about whatever he came here for if he was peeing. Well, theoretically he could, but Rei seemed too polite for that. That was more of a Koga thing.

Kaoru made for a urinal, but found Rei’s hand on his shoulder.

“Kaoru-kun. Are you alright?” Rei asked, and Kaoru could tell he was trying to dig deep here, damn that guy.

“Why wouldn't I be?”

“You're in the bathroom giving your face a cold shower after posing with Adonis-kun.”

He didn't have to put it like that! That sounded bad! _A cold shower? Really?_

“That’s not it at all, you’re misunderstanding.”

“What exactly am I misunderstanding Kaoru-kun?”

“Well…!” Kaoru huffed, “For starters you’re-- Adonis is a guy! It doesn’t make me happy to be in a guy’s lap like that!”

“You had to do something you were uncomfortable with, I understand how that can be upsetting,” Rei remarked. His hand was no longer holding Kaoru back, and he was leaning against the wall with his arms folded. He knew Kaoru wasn’t about to go anywhere.

“Yeah… yeah it was,” Kaoru mumbled.

“Fanservice is a part of being an idol though,” he looked to Kaoru, though much of his face wasn’t visible past the brim of his hat, “I’m not saying you must make out with Adonis-kun our next performance, but… while this situation is unique, there are times when you will have to be close to other men Kaoru-kun. If you intend to take being an idol seriously...”

“Got it Sakuma-san...” the blond grumbled, not pleased at the sudden lecture.

“Kaoru-kun,” Rei looked at him very seriously, hazel eyes meeting red ones, “This is where you follow up with something like, _‘Yes Sakuma-san, I intend on taking my time as an idol seriously!’_ yes?”

Kaoru was suddenly frustrated at Rei’s accusatory tone, “Why would I _want_ to be an idol after this?” He didn’t need Rei telling him what to do; he already got that everyday from his father.

Rei was silent, watching Kaoru’s fist clench, water dripping to the floor from the paper towel in his grasp. He wanted to tell Kaoru to lower his voice, but what good would that do?

“I could graduate and get a _real_ job in the _real_ world; or I can keep being an idol, enter the industry as Kaoru Hakaze, the biggest homosexual to graduate from Yumenosaki?” All of his frustrations spilled forth, “Which would _you_ rather do Sakuma-san?”

“Kaoru-kun. I am also, as you put it, one of the ‘biggest homosexuals to graduate Yumenosaki’,” Rei reasoned, and Kaoru rolled his eyes as if to say, _‘We all know you’re gay Sakuma-san, we saw Deadmans.’_ Rei continued nonetheless, “I think that will hardly be an issue when we graduate and become famous, no?” He couldn’t deny how tough it was right now, but he was trying to get Kaoru to look on the bright side.

Kaoru crossed his arms, “Then why don’t you date Adonis-kun! Take him off my hands. You can finish the shoot with him as well, sit in his lap or whatever…! Whatever weird gay stuff… you can do it!”

“You know I very well can’t do that,” Rei said.

The truth kind of hurt, though Kaoru knew there was nothing he could do about his situation this far into it. His aggression subsided as his hopelessness returned.“I just...” he sighed, “Can Adonis-kun and I break up yet? I really don’t want to do this anymore.”

That shouldn’t happen yet, it’s too soon of a breakup; besides, Kaoru hadn’t even admitted what was bothering him today. _‘Eww boys!’_ didn’t count as an issue, Kaoru had been going on dates with Adonis up until now without a reaction like this. “May I ask what is bothering you?” Rei calmly asked, “You are very upset about something, is it simply the photoshoot?”

The photoshoot, among at least a dozen other things, but he could start with the photoshoot, “Yeah,” Kaoru answered, “I mean, I don’t want to like, be sitting on Adonis-kun’s lap and stuff. That’s just weird. It makes me feel weird y’know? I’m not gay.”

 _‘Kaoru-kun… you naive boy...’_ Rei could see a bit of a logical disconnect there, “How does it make you feel weird?”

“I mean,” Kaoru began, trying to arrange his thoughts, “I don’t sit on guy’s laps often so-- I mean, I don’t sit on guy’s laps _ever_ so it just feels weird.”

“What is _‘weird’_ Kaoru-kun? If you aren’t feeling well, perhaps we should stop for the day and postpone this.”

“No, no. I’m fine now,” Kaoru assured him. It would really be a pain if they had to postpone this. “I’m just really warm now, it surprised me, y’know?” From Rei’s raised eyebrow, he had no idea what Kaoru was trying to get across with the _y’know_. “It was awful. My face felt hot and I could hear my heart beating from everywhere. But like I said, I’m fine now.” Kaoru was just startled by all of this, and he tried to describe his symptoms as accurately as possible to Rei.

“So,” Rei summarized, “Your heart was racing and you were blushing?”

“It sounds _really_ weird if you put it like that.”

Rei only laughed, “I’ll take my leave now, try not to take too long cooling off.”

Kaoru huffed, “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but it’s wrong!” He turned away from Rei, only aware the other boy had left by watching his reflection in the mirror. What did Rei even mean by that? Was he inferring Kaoru had some kind of _crush_ ? There was no way. Rei was just being weird and teasing him and that’s _all there was to it_. Kaoru splashed his face with water once more, exiting the bathroom to touch up his makeup.

* * *

Photos went smoothly once the group of four was back on set. They were currently posing on a fake stage, though it looked remarkably similar to a real one, what with all the colored flashing lights and all. The photographer even set up some penlights upright in cups, positioning them close to the camera to look like Undead had a cheering audience.

Overall, it was a lot of fun, and Kaoru found himself smiling along with everyone as if it was a real performance.

“That’s a wrap guys,” the photographer called out, “Unless any of you have any ideas for photos, are there any poses or scenes you’d do during a live that we didn’t cover here?”

Suddenly imbued with a burst of courage, willpower, or something in that vein, Kaoru responded, “Can we… can Adonis-kun and I try those photos from earlier?” He wanted to give it a go one more time. Despite the fun he was having on the fake stage, those words from Rei wouldn’t stop ringing in his head.

_“Your heart was racing and you were blushing?”_

It was absolutely not that! Kaoru was going to prove it to himself (and Rei, if he was watching).

Adonis shot him a curious look, but the photographer was elated, “Sounds wonderful! Do you guys want to do it here? If it’s here we can just keep the lighting setup, plus stage photos might look really cool, and--”

The photographer babbled on to herself, about different types of lighting that they could only get on the stage set, but Adonis was a bit concerned, “Are you alright with that Hakaze-senpai? We don’t have to do this again if you don’t want to.”

“I suggested it Adonis-kun, I want to.” _I need to get Sakuma-san’s gross words out of my head!_

“I see, if that’s the case I’ll do my best as well.”

“Anyway--!” the photographer began loudly, evidently aware no one was listening to her rambling, “You can keep your clothes on, but let’s have you together onstage, face to face. Otogari-san, put your arm around Hakaze-san, rest your hand gently on the back of his head--  Good!” she gave Adonis a thumbs up when he did it properly. “Now Hakaze-san… really look like you want him, tug on his necklaces or his shirt or something, and keep your faces close.”

This was kind of embarrassing again. His lips were slowly slowly getting closer to Adonis’s and he was about ready to yell for the other boy to stop.

“Wait-- stop!” The photographer called out first, and Kaoru would breathe a sweet sigh of relief if his lips _weren’t so close to Adonis’s_. “I don’t think we can show a man on man kiss in this publication, so don’t actually kiss, alright?”

“Alright,” Adonis said to the photographer, and Kaoru could feel his breath on his lips. Slightly quieter, he addressed Kaoru, “Hakaze-senpai, is this alright? I’m not being too rough with you, am I?”

 _‘What the hell, I usually ask girls that kind of thing…’_ Kaoru thought to himself, responding with, “No, you’re good.” If they both spoke at the same time, maybe their lips would touch; Kaoru shivered a bit thinking about it. He didn’t want to kiss a guy, especially not Adonis.

“Alright, I’m going to start with photos now, hold that pose!” The photographer called out, taking pictures from various angles and distances.

Kaoru felt his heart beat faster with every click of the camera; that weird embarrassed feeling was coming back again, and he could feel his face flushing. It had to be because all of this was on camera. That was an embarrassing thing, right?

“Hakaze-senpai, you’re sure you’re alright?” Adonis whispered, only moving his lips slightly to say it.

Kaoru nodded a bit, thankful Adonis was checking in on him.

“Wonderful!” The photographer praised, moving closer to snap a bust-up photo. “Hakaze-san, you really look like you’re falling in love with him, it’s beautiful. Your cheeks are flushed and you’re looking at him so hesitantly, like a maiden.”

_A maiden?_

No...! This was all wrong. This is exactly the opposite of what Kaoru was trying to prove! The entire _‘prove to Sakuma-san I don’t have a crush on Adonis-kun’_ plan was backfiring. Instead of being cool and collected in the face of boys love, he looked like a maiden ready for her first kiss.

Startled by his thoughts and the photographer’s comment, Kaoru tugged a bit too hard on Adonis’s shirt, effectively colliding their lips in a… a…

_Kaoru didn’t want to think about it._

_He’d give anything to not think about what and who his lips were currently pressed against._

Kiss.

Kaoru’s thoughts were racing, it was as if his mind had a playlist on repeat, and the only tracks were _‘Oh my god I’m kissing a man, shit shit shit’_ and _‘I don’t like dudes, no way!’_

Adonis’s lips were warm, inviting almost, but Kaoru only felt it for an instant before separating. Adonis was just as wide eyed and surprised at the situation as he was, and his cheeks were slightly flushed, only murmuring a quiet, “Sorry.”

To which Kaoru had to weakly respond, “Sorry, it was me.” It was his fault after all.

The photographer on the other hand, was the only person not embarrassed by this. She laughed it off, “I told you two I couldn’t use a shot like that, keep it PG, okay?”

Kaoru was still staring at Adonis. At his face, his lips, the lips that were touching his mere seconds ago.

He didn’t find himself disgusted by it, and that was really starting to freak him out. He just kissed a man, Adonis no less, and his heart was still racing? What did that mean? What did it mean if you were wrapped in another man’s arms and kissed him and didn’t hate it?

Well, there was one easy answer to that, but it definitely wasn’t right.

_Kaoru definitely didn’t like Adonis._

And he’d keep telling himself that for the rest of the shoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this before work so mmmfmfmm hope theres no errors bye i love adokao


	4. "Undead’s Couple"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hakaze-senpai, I’d like to speak with you, if that’s alright,” Adonis said, very seriously.
> 
> Kaoru laughed it off, “Adonis-kun... we’ve been speaking,” he said, refusing to let this turn into a serious conversation.
> 
> “I think we should break up,” Adonis said suddenly, intently looking Kaoru’s way.

“That was so gross, I can’t believe I did that with a guy...” Kaoru mumbled, Adonis beside him as they finished their photos for the day.

He was, of course, referring to their kiss. The first time he ever locked lips with another man.

Adonis was intent on reassuring him, “Hakaze-senpai, it was only a brief moment, I assure you it wasn’t that bad. You are a strong man, you’ll make it through this.”

“Adonis-kuu~n! You don’t understand!” Kaoru whined, crossing his arms. Truthfully, it didn’t gross him out to kiss Adonis, but it grossed him out that he _wasn’t grossed out_. He didn’t want to be okay with kissing another guy. The way he saw it, he didn’t want to enjoy it; so maybe if he acted like he disliked it then he would grow to dislike it.

If he said it enough times then it would have to be true, _right?_

Kaoru kept whining, “Kissing guys isn’t cool at all~!” only ceasing his complaints when he realized Adonis’s hand was on his shoulder, stopping them on their way to the dressing room to meet Koga and Rei. The shoot ended with Kaoru helping the photographer clean up (he couldn’t leave a girl in need!) and Adonis volunteered to help as well; leaving Rei and Koga to change and relax as they pleased.

It also, unfortunately, left him alone with Adonis right now.

“Hakaze-senpai, I’d like to speak with you, if that’s alright,” Adonis said, very seriously.

Kaoru laughed it off, “Adonis-kun... we’ve been speaking,” he said, refusing to let this turn into a serious conversation.

“I think we should break up,” Adonis said suddenly, intently looking Kaoru’s way.

“Wait, wait,” Kaoru threw his hands up, “We can’t break up! We’ve only been together a month, also the puppy and Sakuma-san would kill me!” Rei and Koga liked Adonis, so nothing bad would happen to him, but Kaoru had a feeling they’d be pissed at him. “From the start I haven’t been happy about this either, I don’t want to date a guy, I’m not like that.” For some reason he was trying his best to convince Adonis that he didn’t want to be a part of this relationship just as much as Adonis didn’t (if not more), “It didn’t make me happy to kiss you either, I could have gone my whole life without locking lips with a guy like you.”

Adonis seemed genuinely hurt by that, and Kaoru couldn’t help but notice his eyes growing watery, as much as Adonis tried to blink it away.

Did he go too far?

“Are you going to _cry_ ?” Kaoru asked incredulously, surprised at such a show of emotion from the ever-stoic Adonis. He’d seen Adonis smile (or _try to_ ) but he never saw him deeply moved like this.

Adonis refused to look at him, “Even the strongest of people have weaknesses. That is why I think we should break up.” Time and time again Kaoru would complain about them, and Adonis would have to listen to it. It got tiring being on the other end of someone constantly saying they don’t want a thing to do with you.

“We… we really can’t break up,” Kaoru wished he had a pack of tissues or something right now. It was so strange trying to fight against something he had wanted since the beginning. “Sakuma-san and Koga-kun will seriously kill me. Not you, they like you!”

Shit, he actually managed to upset Adonis! He’d never seen Adonis upset before. Kaoru used his thumb to wipe a tear from Adonis’s face. It was warm, and he probably wiped up some of Adonis’s makeup with it, but Rei and Koga seriously couldn’t find out that _he made Adonis cry!_

“Look, don’t cry, okay?” Kaoru was desperate to make things right, “I’ll… I’ll watch my words. Just calm down.” He dried his thumb against his pants. Adonis didn’t even seem that upset, it wasn’t full on waterworks like it would be with a girl, but for some reason just seeing Adonis even remotely emotional felt worse than seeing a crying girl. His eyes weren’t red and tearful, and he wasn’t sniffling to get his words out, but Kaoru could still tell he was hurt by something.

“Thank you Hakaze-senpai, please be more mindful. We cannot help this situation.”

“You’re right...” Kaoru sighed.

The pair didn’t break up, but Kaoru couldn’t help but feel a strange tension between them. They weren’t actually dating, but Kaoru sighed in relief as he and Adonis stayed together another day. He still found himself in an uncomfortable spot for, as he liked to put it, _not_ hating kissing and being together with one of the most masculine guys at his school.

* * *

Kaoru found himself thinking about the photoshoot all week, wondering how the photos turned out, wondering which photos the magazine would use. The photographer did take some of him and Adonis, he just hoped they weren’t too embarrassing and life-ruining.

In order to get his mind off it, Kaoru washed himself up and ran a bath. Baths are relaxing, right? With one quick spike of anxiety, Kaoru brought his phone into the bathing area to check the photographer’s Twitter for any updates. He could’ve sworn the magazine came out today, but maybe he was mistaken.

_‘Nope,’_ Kaoru told himself, _‘Get your mind off those photos, try and think about other things.’_

His thoughts drifted to school, to the Marine Bio club, to Souma’s latest attempt on his life. The second year heard he made Adonis sad, which was obviously the severest offense in his book.

‘Ugh, Adonis-kun…’ Kaoru found himself thinking about Adonis regardless. He let his face fall into his wet hands, strands of bleached blond hair hitting the surface of the water. Kaoru felt like a fool for coming to enjoy their dates. At first he chalked it up to enjoying spending time with another man, which, on it’s own, isn’t too bad. A lot of other guys do it. It’s normal to be friends with classmates (but that didn’t mean Kaoru _wanted_ to do it).

But… after the photoshoot… their kiss… he really didn’t want to think about that.

He wasn’t disgusted by it, but--

Thoughts interrupted by a rushed knock on the door, “Kaoru? Are you in there?”

“Yes Dad,” Kaoru called back, muffling his displeased groan into the water. Leave it to that guy to ruin what was supposed to be a relaxing bath.

“Good thing you made it home before sundown,“ that sounded sarcastic, “Did you apply to colleges today like I told you to?”

He could lie, say _‘Yes dad’,_ but then his dad would probably ask to see receipts of submitting applications. Learning from his mistakes, Kaoru told the truth with, “No Dad, I was busy today.”

A pause. “Were you working on that music… stuff? That idol business. You can’t keep that up after high school.” His dad knocked on the door again, probably to check if he was still listening, “Maybe if you dye your hair a normal color, and get into a normal school, even someone like you can get hired and end up living the life that’s expected of you. The life your mother and I expect of you.”

Kaoru made bubbles in the water with his mouth, first instinct to reply with, _‘Mom would never feel that way!’_ She wasn’t here, but Kaoru was certain she wouldn’t force him into the path of a Japanese office employee.

From his childhood, Kaoru always received approval from her, and scolding from his father. They were two completely different people with completely different ways of thinking. His mom would always hold him, pat him on the head and tell him he was doing a good job, while his father refused to give any skinship, any praise. He had no idea how they even ended up together.

“Did you hear me? Don’t make me come in there.”

“I’m in the _bath_ dad!” Kaoru stressed, “I heard you, I can’t apply for college in the _bath_. I’ll do it later.”

Kaoru heard his father grumble, only negative things, swearing he heard _‘Why can’t you be more like your sister?’_ as his parent left for some other section of their home.

Every single conversation with his father managed to stress him out somehow. He was always on him for applying to college, lecturing him on why he should dye and cut his hair back to ‘normal’, or even pestering him to look at companies to get an idea of where he’d like to work after graduation. As expected, Kaoru didn’t want to do any of that, but it was what was expected of him, so he found it imminent.

His father hated the idea of him continuing to be an idol, and it was a miracle he hadn’t found out recent drama with Adonis. If he found out his so was dating another man, a foreigner at that, he’d be un-enrolled from Yumenosaki faster than Adonis could finish an anpan after track practice.

Kaoru let himself slide further into the bath, feet sliding up the opposite end of the tub as his head sank further in. He remembered how he felt coming home from his first day of elementary school, it was oddly similar to the feeling in his chest now.

_“Mom! Dad!” Kaoru had called out to his parents, filled with childlike enthusiasm. They met him at the train station, worried he wouldn’t be able to find his way home; in hindsight, it was probably his mother’s idea._

_“Kaoru~” His mother cooed, scooping him into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her neck, she was always so warm. “How was your first day? Did you make any friends?”_

_“Yeah!” Kaoru grinned, excited to tell his mom and dad about his day, “In my class, there’s another boy named Kaoru, he’s so nice and cute, I think his name is written different but--”_

_“Kaoru,” his father stepped in, voice stern, “Don’t use ‘cute’ to describe another boy, that’s for girls only.”_

_“Now now,” his mother added, giving his father a look. Kaoru felt himself starting to frown, sick feeling in his stomach certain he did something wrong, but not sure what, “Friendships are important, l’m glad you and your little double are friends!” She booped his nose, but that couldn’t stop the feeling in his stomach from his dad’s single comment. “Where does he live? We can invite his parents over for tea, and you two can play sometime.”_

The rest of the memory faded from view, phone buzzing atop his towel. Kaoru wiped the steam from the screen, new messages from Koga waiting for him.

The messages weren’t just for him, they were in the Undead group chat, but Rei and Adonis can hardly use their phones well enough to participate.

Messages flooded in as he unlocked his phone, dozens of picture messages of each magazine spread and article waiting for him. Koga must have bought the magazine today.

The first picture was a full page spread of all four of them, with certain text added in to note their names, heights, weights, hobbies, and the like. It was pretty typical setup, but it looked nice. Kaoru made a mental note to pick up the magazine on the way home tomorrow.

The next set of pages had individual photos, with even more detailed descriptions and quotes from each idol. Koga’s page included his home town, which Kaoru had never heard of, it certainly wasn’t close to the city. It also mentioned he wanted to be some sort of rock n roll idol, travelling to England to perform. Kaoru couldn’t help but laugh at that, not in a mean way, it was just odd to imagine someone taking such a dream seriously.

After the individual pages were pages for the third years and second years. The third years’ page obviously mentioned graduation, speculated plans for the future, which Kaoru couldn’t help but cringe at. The second years’ page talked about how the article writer thought they would continue Undead as a duo unit, wondering what kind of image it would have in the upcoming year. They imagined Koga would become the leader, maybe even changing the Undead logo to a wolf. Kaoru nodded as he read, he could see it happening.

The next page was dedicated to Kaoru and Adonis. It was embarrassing to look at, but Kaoru couldn’t tear his eyes away. The selected photos looked like a progression of sorts, Kaoru getting embarrassed in Adonis’s lap and Adonis blocking the camera with his hand.

Kaoru’s face was red, and not from the steam of the bath, as he read the article titled: Undead’s Couple.

_Kaoru was always one for the ladies, so we never thought he would go after Adonis, Undead’s cool and collected second year. The recently-bisexual idol has always charmed the hearts of girls, but now he’s charming men alike as he sits atop his boyfriend, face flushing at their forbidden proximity…_

Kaoru shut off his phone, placing the screen face down on his towel. How could they publish something like that? They used such embarrassing photos too; why couldn’t they use the ones they took of Adonis and him posing together normally? Adonis was even frowning in one of these, they weren’t good photos at all!

That shot specifically, Kaoru was sure he remembered it. The photographer had just asked him to sit on Adonis.

_He begrudgingly took a seat, leather clad thighs on either side of Adonis’s. “I’m not doing this because I want to, I really don’t want to do this,” Kaoru mumbled into Adonis’s ear._   
_  
“Yes--! Perfect!” the photographer already had her camera out, “Adonis, look at little happier, your boyfriend is in your lap, isn’t he? Turn that frown upside down!”_

It took a moment to click in his mind, but Adonis was definitely frowning because of _him_ . He _totally_ was, he had to be, he talked to Kaoru about this kind of thing right after.

“God,” Kaoru mumbled to himself, “I was such a jerk.” There have probably been so many moments like that. He briefly thought of calling Adonis to apologize, only to rebuttal (against himself) that this was all settled! They definitely settled that in their little confrontation after the photos.

Kaoru still felt like he had something to apologize for though.

This whole time he was saying things like that, and it must have really gotten to Adonis. It was such a practiced response by now, even moreso now that he felt like he had to cover up his… _attraction?_... with it.

Nope. He wasn’t going to call Adonis to apologize, he’d just have to never mention anything like this again, which would probably successfully push that… thing… he just called _attraction_ out of his head too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this when i was rly sick so i hope its not bad ... hope its not bad.


	5. two dudes chillin in a bed five feet apart cuz they're not gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adonis was so dense. There had to be an award for being this dense. Kaoru would have to ask whoever was making the Yumenosaki yearbook, because this could not go un-awarded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the obligatory 'oh no we booked a room but it only has one bed and now we have to share' chapter. i'm just as shocked as you are.
> 
> this was my favorite ch to write out of all of them

A nice weekend away from everything, that was what Kaoru signed up for, and it seemed to be headed in that direction as Undead boarded their train on time and made it to the hotel they were staying at without any trouble. They decided to get a weekend away, booking two rooms at a nice hotel, hopefully leaving any worries behind at Yumenosaki.

Arriving at the hotel, Kaoru soon realized this would not be the case.

Having spoken to the hotel’s reception, Rei walked back to their party with four room keys in his hand, and he looked mildly apologetic, “Ah, it seems like I made a mistake in booking the rooms, there are two rooms, but one of them only has one bed.”

“You stupid old man,” Koga growled, “Which unlucky guys have to share a bed? Y’can’t make me do it.” He looked one step away from slapping Rei upside the head.

“I was thinking we could share doggie, is that alright with everyone else? That way Adonis-kun and Kaoru-kun get their own beds.”

Adonis nodded, and Kaoru was thankful he got his own bed.

“Hell no it’s not alright!” Koga growled, “I’ll thrash around in my sleep, rollin’ everywhere and shit, d’you really want to share a bed with that?” He smiled, looking like he won.

“I see,” Rei hummed, hand on his chin, “Perhaps Adonis-kun and Kaoru-kun should get the bed then, how about that?”

“If that’s the case, then there’s nothing that can be done,” Adonis agreed.

“W-wait a minute,” Kaoru chimed in. _Bed?_ Sharing a _bed_ with Adonis? That was out of the question! “Why can’t--” he was trying to think of possible combinations; Koga couldn’t be in the shared bed because he’s rowdy, but Kaoru also didn’t want to share the bed with Adonis. This was beginning to sound like some kind of math problem.

“Why can’t...?” Rei repeated, urging Kaoru on.

“Nevermind,” Kaoru grumbled unhappily, “I’ll share with Adonis-kun.” He paused, adding an addendum, “But! But I’m putting pillows between us at night!”

Koga and Rei snickered at the thought.

* * *

Sharing a room felt awkward as hell. How was he supposed to chill out and not be attracted to Adonis when he had to share such close quarters with him? It seemed impossible. He was trying so hard to suppress any homosexual thoughts, but it was getting increasingly difficult as his thoughts became less and less heterosexual.

At this point, all it took was Adonis hanging around the room shirtless; surely he’d just come from the pool or something, but put that away! He wasn’t at the pool now!

Kaoru lounged on their shared bed, throwing a pillow at Adonis, “Adonis-kuu~n!” the blond whined, “Put some clothes on!”

The pillow hit him square in the shin, Kaoru’s aim wasn’t that great, and Adonis turned around, “I’m sorry Hakaze-senpai, but I just came from the hotel’s exercise room, please allow me to cool off a while longer.” He placed the pillow back on the bed, picking up a water bottle from the desk and drinking it. He had time to get a good look at Kaoru, but quickly became concerned, “Are you alright Hakaze-senpai? Your face is quite red.” Adonis moved toward the bed, but Kaoru held up a pillow to his face.

“I’m fine! Turn the air conditioning up.”

“I’m not the only one who is too warm, I understand, let me turn it up,” Adonis replied, fiddling with the buttons on the hotel AC, only calling it a job well done once he felt cold air billowing out.

Kaoru moved the pillow from his face, but Adonis still hadn’t put a shirt on! He was lounging around as if he had no idea the effect his toned chest had on Kaoru. Granted, he’d touched it before (accidentally, at their photoshoot) but he was feeling this weird urge to touch it again! As if it was some girl’s chest he wanted to play around with after a date. Adonis didn’t even have boobs!

Kaoru groaned at his gay crisis, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling, as if it could both answer and solve all his problems. ”Hakaze-senpai,” Adonis’s face came into view, and he was holding a banana, “Eat this and feel better.”

“What.” Where did Adonis even get that? Did he really bring food to the hotel?

“Eat something, I’m sure it’ll help you feel better,” Adonis repeated, “Even a banana is good.”

“Where did you get these?” Kaoru asked, taking the mystery banana. Adonis had one for himself too.

“I went for a run in the gym, and these were in a buffet area outside. I brought one back for you too.”

That was so sweet… in a weird… Adonis kind of way.

Kaoru watched Adonis peel his banana, and his cheeks flushed before realizing he was absolutely not going to fall victim to the watching-someone-eat-a-banana-but-it-looks-sensual trope. No way. Kaoru kept his eyes on his own banana, peeling it, taking the time to make sure _every single_ stringy bit was gone before he took a bite. He chewed slowly, eyes on his banana, only looking up when he heard Adonis’s banana skin enter the trash bag.

Crisis averted.

Kaoru got off the bed, rest of his banana in hand, only to nearly drop it on the floor as he felt something strong slap against his ass. It hurt like hell, as if there weren’t layers of fabric protecting him, and he could feel it stinging afterward.

Crisis was _not_ averted.

“Did you just spank me?” Kaoru asked incredulously. He almost dropped his banana!

Adonis looked clueless, “Spanking? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” His hand totally just collided with Kaoru’s unsuspecting ass. Adonis seemed genuinely clueless though, ”Isn’t that a teammate thing? Mama always does it to us during practice.”

“What the hell...” Kaoru mumbled, dragging a hand down his face. “No, like, I’m sure you jocks do that, but everywhere else that’s just spanking! You don’t just _slap_ a guy there.”

“You don’t? But Sakuma-senpai does it to Oogami.”

Kaoru didn’t want to think about the implications of that. “They’re… different.”

“I see, I’m sorry,” Adonis apologized, bowing slightly, “Does it hurt?”

“Yes it hurts!” Kaoru snapped back a bit too fast, face slightly flushed, “Just don’t do it again!” It hurt, but it also made him feel kind of weird.

Adonis looked deeply saddened, “I’m sorry to have caused you pain, can I do anything to make it better?”

“No, don’t worry about it, I’m going to go for a walk,” Kaoru took the last few bites of his banana, throwing the skin into the trash alongside Adonis’s, leaving before Adonis could even reply back.

As soon as he exited the room, Kaoru ran his fingers through his hair, absolutely certain that no matter how fast he walked, he couldn’t escape the gay thoughts.

Thankfully, they subsided as Rei and Koga joined them, starting their day by getting lunch and doing some sightseeing. The ocean was nearby, and Kaoru found himself drawn to it, even though he didn’t bring his surfboard. Undead walked along the beach and the pier, Kaoru pointing out various shells and fish (knowledge obtained entirely due to Kanata) speaking more to his unit than he ever had in those thirty minutes they spent along the water.

For dinner they went to some kind of rock n roll theme cafe, or maybe it was just American themed with a lot of music decor. Kaoru didn’t know too much about this kind of stuff, but Rei and Koga seemed vastly enamored with it. English music was playing, and every now and then Koga would boast about knowing the song, only to be completely schooled by Rei or Adonis, who actually knew English.

After dinner, they went out to karaoke, because no night would be complete without hearing Adonis’s rendition of _Love Ra*bits Party_ ; his energetic clubmate taught him all the words. It was a lot of fun, everyone laughing together as they belted out songs into the early hours of the morning.

The four returned to the hotel at about 3AM. Rei was rather lively, but the rest were tired, and decided to turn in for the night. Koga and Rei returned to their room, while Kaoru and Adonis returned to theirs. Kaoru absolutely intended on keeping to his word of using that pillow divider, setting it up as Adonis put on his pajamas. It looked incredibly stupid, but it would do.

Kaoru climbed into bed first, choosing his side of the mattress, and Adonis followed shortly, turning the light off and taking the opposite side. This was going a lot better than expected, they _basically_ had separate beds when it was like this.

Just as Kaoru was getting ready to drift off to sleep, Adonis woke him, reminding him that indeed he _was_ sharing a bed with another man.

“Hakaze-senpai, are you awake?”

_‘I am now,’_ Kaoru thought to himself. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“Have I done anything to upset you lately, you seem quick to anger. If I have, I want to apologize.”

“No, you’re good.” Kaoru replied, hoping it would end there, “Goodnight.”

“Are you sure? You seemed upset earlier.”

“I was just stressed,” Kaoru sat up to reshape his pillow, and he could see the outline of Adonis on the other side of the bed.

“I understand,” Adonis replied, getting quiet, “I may be inadequate, but let me know if there is anything I can do.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Kaoru casually replied, rolling over, facing the not-Adonis side of the bed, and attempting to fall asleep.

He tossed and turned, so sure he would fall asleep once he flipped his pillow to the cold side again. Seeing Adonis asleep so peacefully got him thinking; maybe he _should have_ confided in the other boy, even a little bit. Out of everyone he knew, Adonis generally seemed to have his best interests at heart-- but how would he word it? He couldn’t just say _‘Hey, so I think I’m into you and it’s really freaking me out.’_ That wouldn’t do.

Maybe he could start with something like, _‘I’m starting to get weirded out by the fake dating,’ weirded out_ was vague enough, right?

That’s all he had to say, then maybe Adonis would ask why, and he could follow it up with something about crushes. He could imply he has a crush on someone and it’s making him feel weird! That wasn’t a lie… not quite. He just was picking through a bucket of truths and deciding which were okay to show Adonis.

Alright, let’s go.

“Adonis-kun, are you awake?” It was Kaoru’s turn to be _that guy._

“I am, are you having trouble sleeping Hakaze-senpai? We could go out for a run if you like, that always tires me out.” Adonis sounded sleepy.

“Sorry for waking you up...” Kaoru weakly apologized. He wasn’t that sorry.

Adonis sat up in bed, facing Kaoru, “It’s alright, I’m a very light sleeper. Back in my country, you have to train your body to wake up at even the slightest sign of danger.”

This was taking an uncomfortable direction. Now he did feel a little sorry.

“Right...” Kaoru said, as if he had any idea what Adonis was talking about. “Can we talk?”

“Of course, is something troubling you?”

There he goes, being so selfless.

“It’s this whole fake dating thing,” Kaoru began, “It’s starting to feel weird. Like, do you like anyone?” Kaoru doubted it. He’d never heard of Adonis dating anyone, “I have to be in this fake relationship when there’s this other g--” _shit_ , “girl, this other _girl_ , I’m interested in.”

“I understand Hakaze-senpai, I too am interested in someone and--”

_No way._ Was it Koga? Souma? Rei? Madara? Anzu? Kaoru was running out of people that he knew Adonis knew.

“Who is it?” Kaoru suddenly asked, pang of jealously in his chest guiding him.

Adonis paused, and Kaoru couldn’t see his expression in the darkness, “I do not see how that would help your situation to know.”

Shit. He was prying. Keep cool Kaoru. “Okay, right. So then you understand how hard it is… because we’re uhh… fake dating… you can’t...”

“No… I don’t think it would have worked out anyway.” That sounded terribly sad and pessimistic. “I hope Hakaze-senpai is happy and it works out for him though,” Adonis added, “Who are you interested in? Is it Anzu?”

“Nah, it’s not her,” Kaoru replied, “I’m pretty sure she has her sights set on someone at Kimisaki.”

“Really? I had no idea.” It was kind of endearing to gossip with Adonis, it was so unlike him. “If it isn’t Anzu, do I know her?”

Okay, Kaoru didn’t anticipate this question. Up until now he’d told the truth (besides switching out a gendered pronoun… he _had_ to do that) but this may be a turning point. He didn’t intend for this to turn into some middle school-esque ‘Guess your crush’ game!

“I think this conversation made me a little sleepy Dodonis-kun~ You’re really something.” Play it cool, just go to bed. Ignoring it is one way out.

“My name is Adonis, Hakaze-senpai. I thought you knew that by now.”

Regardless, Kaoru rolled over, to the trusted not-facing-Adonis side. The way Adonis just replied to him… did he know Kaoru was bullshitting him? Or was he just playing along and fixing his name like always.

Now that Kaoru thought about it, he hadn’t messed up Adonis’s name in weeks. Maybe that was weird.

The air felt awkward, and Kaoru was unable to sleep. He wanted nothing more than to get all his anxieties off his chest, confessing (he hadn’t even _thought_ about what would happen past that, and frankly he didn’t want to) and not having to worry about these gay thoughts anymore. The bed felt hard and unforgiving, but he still managed to fall asleep, playing out various scenarios in his head.

_“Adonis-kun,” Kaoru would laugh awkwardly, unsure how to continue, “I guess throughout this whole time I kind of got attached to you. You’re not a girl, but you like sweets and delicate things. You have a good attitude and--”_

_“You don’t have to say anything else Hakaze-senpai, I understand your feelings.” Adonis would reply, dream Adonis far more confident in his words than real Adonis would be, “I thought you were just a frivolous ladies man before, but after spending time with you I see you have a good heart.”_

_“Adonis-kun...” This was playing out like a shojo manga. All they were missing was the shot of their faces growing closer, surrounded by a border of roses._

_“Hakaze-senpai,” Adonis replied, and it felt like time stopped. His voice was significantly less dreamy, shattering the fantasy in an instant, “It would never work. I don’t want to listen to you complaining all the time, I’d rather be with someone who appreciates me, someone like--”_

_“Wait!” This wasn’t the Adonis he knew. The real Adonis would never say something so cruel. He felt his body shaking; was he crying?_

“Hakaze-senpai, are you alright?” Adonis asked, slightly shaking his body. His voice felt closer than when they were speaking earlier.

“Hwa...” Kaoru grumbled, half asleep, not too excited to move his resting head from his pillow. That was an awful dream. He shoved his face into the pillow, only to realize it wasn’t a pillow at all. He’d been sleeping on Adonis’s shoulder… when did they get so close! What happened to the barrier? As soon as he opened his eyes he saw Adonis’s face.

“Are you alright? I think you were having a bad dream.” Adonis stated; he absentmindedly pat Kaoru’s head, fixing the mess that was his hair after all that rolling around, “Maybe we should see if you and Oogami can get the single beds. I can ask Sakuma-senpai if you like.” Adonis made to get up, but Kaoru grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t… you don’t have to,” his face was flushing, and he felt like a stupid kid, “Just, pat my head again, will you? I don’t want to ask a guy that, but...”

Adonis pat his head regardless. It felt different than any headpats he received from his mother, but it felt good all the same. It was exactly what he needed after waking up from a stupid nightmare that he didn’t want to think too deeply about the contents of. He was still resting his cheek on Adonis’s shoulder, surrounded by warmth and comfort; and Adonis wasn’t asking him about it.

“Thanks,” Kaoru finally said, breaking the silence that hung over them for seconds or even minutes. He wasn’t sure if he should move from where he was, so he waited for any reply. It didn’t come for a few seconds, and Kaoru wasn’t sure if Adonis fell asleep or something.

“I’m glad I could help. You’re always taking on so much on your own, it’s okay to depend on others.” His hand was still resting on Kaoru’s head.

Kaoru had heard that kind of line before, he wasn’t very inclined to believe it, but from Adonis it felt genuine.

“Thanks Adonis-kun.” Kaoru let himself be calmed by the quiet atmosphere of the room, the faint hum of the AC and the muffled noise of cars outside, only to be taken from it by a surprising question.

“May I ask you something?” Adonis left him no time to give a _yes_ or a _no_ , “Why did you mistake my name earlier?”

Kaoru’s mind was yelling, as loud as it could, _‘Ugh! You… I like you!! I like you!!!’_ but only a simple, “What?” left him. He felt like he had been found out, like he might as well have just yelled his thoughts aloud.

“You haven’t mistaken my name in so long,” Adonis stated, as if it were obvious, ”I thought we were closer than that. Of course I would notice if you suddenly do something like that.”

He was probably expecting some sort of reply like, _“I don’t want to be close to guys!”_ but Kaoru couldn’t find the words.

“I thought we were becoming friends, and it made me happy,” Adonis said, staring up at the ceiling. Kaoru shifted a bit on his shoulder, but didn’t shy away. “At first I was worried we wouldn’t be able to get along. At the beginning of the year I only saw you as someone who skipped club practice to go on dates. Even midway through the year, I felt the same.” Kaoru raised an eyebrow, not completely sure if Adonis was dragging him or not, “Recently I got to know you better, and I think you’re a good person, though there are times you say careless things.” That was like a reverse compliment sandwich, very very light on the complements. “I’m sorry for saying all of that so suddenly.”

“No, no,” Kaoru started, “Thanks… I think?” This was the first time he heard Adonis speak so much. “I… like you too Adonis-kun. It’s endearing how you like sweet things like parfaits, and sometimes I’m not quite sure where you keep all the kindness you have in you.” Oh god this was turning into a confession. Adonis probably thought he was a freak.

“That’s good. Even after we break up, I think I’d be happy if I could still spend time with Hakaze-senpai.”

This guy… they were in this weird limbo of saying nice things to each other without it being a confession! Was it because they were guys? Kaoru didn’t know anything about that. If Adonis were a girl and Kaoru were asking him out, surely he’d get it, right? Maybe Adonis was just dense. Frustration taking over embarrassment, Kaoru found himself blurting out, “I don’t want to break up with you!”

“You… what? But Hakaze-senpai, earlier you mentioned not liking the fake dating because there’s someone you’d rather be with.”

Adonis was _so dense._ There had to be an award for being _this dense_. Kaoru would have to ask whoever was making the Yumenosaki yearbook, because this could not go un-awarded.

“You idiot… Adonis-kuuu~un… don’t make me say it out loud! I can’t say these things to guys.” Throughout this whole thing Kaoru seemed to forget that Adonis also said he had a crush on someone, and felt sheer mortification as he waited for Adonis’s answer.

“Do you… like me?” That wasn’t… filled with disgust. Adonis wasn’t disgusted at him. He sounded just as gentle as always.

“You can’t make me say it! I just said that!” Kaoru whined, and he felt Adonis’s hand that was on his head slide down to his back, pulling him closer. “Adonis-kuun! You’re so mean.”

“I am sorry Hakaze-senpai. I don’t mean to be mean, I won’t make you say it, but I return these feelings.”

Adonis was so embarrassing about it; or maybe this was just embarrassing to Kaoru because they were both guys. He was laying with another man in bed and admitting his feelings to him! There was one way that Kaoru knew always worked to get girls to stop talking, and maybe it would work on Adonis. He slowly raised himself up, only a little, he could feel Adonis’s hand slide down his back, locking their lips as his hair fell over Adonis’s cheeks.

It only lasted for a second.

“Thank you Hakaze-senpai, you’re worthless.”

“What?” This was turning out to be a nightmare. He was going to wake up on Adonis’s shoulder again in some other universe. Kaoru felt his heart stop. _Worthless?_

Adonis only rubbed his back, “You are so good, there is no value high enough to describe it.”

Kaoru laughed, a quiet single chuckle at first, turning into full on laughter as he sat up, “You mean _priceless_ , Adonis-kun?” He couldn’t even be mad at that; he genuinely couldn’t find it in himself to be upset at that.

“Isn’t that what I said?”

* * *

“Are… are we going to tell Oogami and Sakuma-senpai we’re together?” Adonis asked as the pair got ready. Kaoru was brushing his teeth at the sink, bangs tied up above his forehead, and Adonis was doing his hair.

Kaoru wasn’t really sure how to deal with them. The entire world already thought they were dating, and only Rei and Koga knew it was a lie (until now). Kaoru spat out his toothpaste, “What do you think? I don’t want them to know I’m with a guy but--”

Adonis nudged Kaoru with his elbow.

“It’s embarrassing Adonis-kun! Sakuma-san and his puppy will tease me forever!” Kaoru was sure they would. “Show some sympathy!”

“If they tease you, I will protect you,” was all Adonis had to reply, and they dropped the subject. Kaoru and Adonis finished getting ready, locking their hotel room and meeting the other members of Undead in the lobby.

The first thing Adonis said to them, bless his heart, was, “Good morning Oogami, Sakuma-senpai. From now on Hakaze-senpai and I are dating, so please do not trouble him.”

Too sudden! Kaoru paled, ready for ridicule, but Rei and Koga only grinned.

“Nice one Adonis,” Koga slapped his shoulder, “Why tell us now, haven’t ya been together this whole time?” He played along, thinking it was just Adonis’s attempt at a joke.

“I think this is their official announcement,” Rei chimed in, “Maybe they’re planning a wedding. Will Kaoru-kun wear the dress, or will Adonis-kun?”

“Guys!” Kaoru groaned. This was just _annoying_ , maybe it was worse than being ridiculed for it, “Adonis-kun is serious!”

Rei and Koga laughed, they didn’t buy it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all.. thank you for reading.  
> i want to do an epilogue of sorts that's adokao living together after graduation maybe... it would be smut tho lmao
> 
> i also rrreally want to rewrite/add to my previous adokao arabian au longfic. if you liked this one you will probably like that one (http://archiveofourown.org/works/8078146/chapters/18510130) 18+


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